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Disclaimer : It wasn't me honest guv........
Using heavy cotton material such as an old bedspread (do not use man-made fabrics as they will drip) tear a piece about 2 foot square. Pile on bracken etc and tie up the corners. Continue to wrap strips of cloth (about 6 inches wide) around it to form a ball shape. When this is about the right size wind loads of garden wire or similar around it to hold it all together.
Heat up one packet of LARD in an old pan. When this has melted remove it from the heat source and pour in the equivalent amount of paraffin....carefully. Stir and pour slowly over your football making sure all of it is soaked (for this procedure we use one of the many sheets of corrugated steel as a base so as not to kill the grass).
......er light it, kick off, no headers.
As before, use heavy cotton material such as an old spread and tear into strips about 4 - 5 inches wide. Wrap tightly around a length of greenwood branch or similar measuring about 2 foot long and an inch thick (heavy duty broom handles are good but not as aesthetically pleasing to the eye). PLEASE DO NOT take greenwood from the moor, find it elsewhere. When your wrappings are about the thickness of a girl from Rotherham - sorry - the thickness of your arm, wrap tightly with garden wire or similar.
Soak carefully with your lard/paraffin mix and allow to cool. The lard stops the fuel from dripping too much and lasts longer than just paraffin on its own.
Good for wandering around the moor hobbit style......
ROCKET POWERED BEER CANS
This is where things start to get technical. Check out Davs page for tech info.
Take one rocket powder charge and connect to remote detonator ( I suggest a 30ft clearance at least). Place this in a beer can well away from tents and people. Ignite and watch as it takes off in a UFO stylee......
Pure pyromaniacal enchantment
EXPLODING PAINT BOMBS
Take one 35mm film canister and place approx 3/4 inch of black powder in the bottom. Insert detonator. Wad out with 1/2 inch of tissue. Top up canister with water soluble powder paint (colour of your choice). Fit lid and tape shut with electrical insulation tape. As before, connect to remote detonator ( I suggest a 30ft clearance at least).
Good for a giggle.
HOW TO LIGHT A FIRE WITH WATER
Build your fire base as normal, (if you don't know how to do this you shouldn't bother to read on really...), leaving a narrow opening on one side.
Take a piece of cardboard measuring 10x4 inches and fold lengthways. Place 4 or 5 chunks of Calcium Carbide on one end and insert into fire base. Keep the end nearest you raised and slowly pour water down the groove so it hits the carbide. This will cause a chemical reaction giving off flammable gases. Ignite these carefully and hey presto. If the flame dies down - ADD MORE WATER !
THE USE OF PYROTECHNICS IS POTENTIALLY HAZARDOUS KIDS.
THE ABOVE INSTRUCTIONS ARE FOR INFORMATION PURPOSES ONLY .
DO NOT USE PYRO OR START FIRES ON THE MOOR WHEN IT IS DRY.
I, OF COURSE, HAVE NEVER SEEN OR DONE ANY OF THESE....